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Best Fails of the Week 3 June 2013 by FailArmy [.....]
Election ke moqa par 1 lider ne sheher ke bare chok me taqreer kartei huei kaha.
“ Mujhei bari khushi hei kih aap ke sheher Hyderabad ke dorei pe aya hun”.
Hazreen ne cheekhtei huei kaha yeh Hyderabad nahee Faisalabad hei.
Lider ne kaha: me janta hun kih yeh Faisalabad hi hei magar me malum karna chahta tha kih kahee aap log so to nahee rahei. [.....]
Father (bete se) : Afzal tum raat ko kis waqt soei thei.
Afzal : me raat ko 2 bajei tak homework karta raha.
Father : magar 11 baje to light chali gait hi.
Afza : (ghabratei huei) who me homework me itna magan tha kih bijli ke aane aor jane ka pata hi nahee chala. [.....]
1 admi bahot mota hota ja raha tha. Nashtey me 15 parathey aoe 10 cup chaey pee jata tha. Who doctor ke pas dubla hone ke lie gia.
Doctor : tum kitni rotia khatey ho.
Mota admi : 15 parathey 10 cup chaey.
Doctor : ab tum 3 parathey aor 1 cup chaey pia karo.
Doctor sahab yeh khorak nashtey se pehley khaun ya bad me. Motey admi foran poocha.
[.....]
Potassium deficiencies are associated with breathlessness, fatigue, insomnia and low blood
sugar. Potassium is essential for healthy heart muscles. Nuts and unrefined grains are good
sources of potassium. Calcium is a natural sedative. Deficiencies can cause fatigue,
nervousness and tension. Dairy products, eggs, almonds, and soyabeans are rich sources of
calcium. Magnesium is known as nature's tranquilliser and is associated with the prevention of
heart attack. Deficiencies may lead to excitability, irritability, apprehension and emotional
disorders. Magnesium is also necessary for absorption of calcium and potassium and is found
in
many fruits, vegetables, seeds, dates and prunes.
[.....]
To stay young, take lecithin.
Besides reducing the cholesterol level in the blood, there is mounting scientific evidence to
suggest several other benefits from lecithin. It has been suggested that its intake in sufficient
amounts can help rebuild those cells and organs which need it. Lecithin helps to maintain their
health once they are repaired. It may mean that a deficiency of lecithin in the diet may be one
of
the causes of ageing and that its use may be beneficial in retarding the ageing process.
Edward R. Hewith in his book, The Years Between 75 and 90 says," with older people the fats
remain high in the blood for from five to seven hours and in some cases as long as 20 hours,
thus giving the [.....]
After the acute symptoms of tonsillitis are over, the patient should adopt an all-fruit diet for
further three or four days. In this regimen, three meals of fresh, juicy fruits such as apples,
grapes, grapefruit, oranges, pears, pineapple, peaches and melon may be taken. The juice of
fresh pineapple is most valuable in all throat afflictions of this kind. After the all-fruit diet the
patient may gradually embark upon a well-balanced diet on the following lines:
• Breakfast: Fresh fruits, or grated raw carrot or any other raw salad, and milk. Prunes or
other dried fruits may be added, if desired.
• Lunch: Steamed vegetables, as obtainable, and whole wheat chapattis. Vegetables
likes bitter gourd and fenugreek are especially beneficial.
• Dinner: A good-sized raw salad of [.....]
The treatment of the tonsillitis on the lines of modern medical system by means of painting and
spraying is both harmful and suppressive. It does not help to rid the system of the toxins, which
are the root of the trouble. In fact it forces these toxins back into the system, which may cause
more serious trouble later on. The correct way to treat the disease is to cleanse the system of
toxic waste through proper dietary and other natural methods.
To begin with, the patient should fast for three to five days by which time serious symptoms
would subside. Nothing but water and orange juice should be taken during this time. The
bowels
should be cleansed daily with a warm water enema during the period [.....]
Are you suffering nervous tension, ulcers, sexual disorders, hay fever, colds, or even cancer?
Consider colour therapy. This evening is an ideal time to begin putting your tensions away by
enhancing your environment with the colour green. Green gently relieves tension and mildly
sedates the body.
It strengthens eyesight. Being highly medicinal and depressive, green is of
great help in the treatment of inflammatory conditions. How can be sure to get benefits of
green. One method of colour therapy is simple: Just be sure to eat green foods. Eat any of the
green vegetables and fruits such as gourds, spinach, plantain, lettuce, pea, green mango,
gooseberry, pears, and beans.
[.....]